Ch 2 of 3 Times a Charm

I followed Karen to the Gus Bus, her camper that had belonged to Jeval, Richie’s father, who had disappeared.

As pink as my camper, Princess, was, the Gus Bus was green. Green tile, green counter, even a green mini-fridge. I’d become accustomed to the pinkness of my place, but the greenness of Karen’s caught me off-guard and I just stood there, blinking against the sight.

“What do you think of homeschooling?” Karen asked as she busied herself with making coffee.  

“Um…I guess a lot of people are doing it?” I winced, realizing I sounded like Becky. 

“Richie needs a more formal education.” She glanced over at me. “Sit. Sit.” Ever since her son had magically healed her from whatever had been killing her, she’d had more energy. Now, despite the long drive, she was practically bouncing.

I slid into a seat at the table. Like everything else, both were green.

“Did you have a normal education or just a magical one?” Karen asked.

I sat back in my seat, knocked off balance by the question. “I don’t know.”

She looked over at me.

I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t remember anything about most of my life. One day, I just woke up in the hospital and was married to Orville.”

While the coffee maker gurgled to life, she sat down opposite me. “Orville?”

“My husband.” I clenched my fists. Just saying the words made me want to retch. “He’s the reason I’m in this mess. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be haunted and driving around in Princess, trying to retrieve magical charms. I—”

“Hold up,” Karen interrupted, leaning closer. “You’re married?”

I shuddered at the thought. “No. He’s dead.”

She squinted at me. “Did you kill him?”

I winced. “It’s kind of complicated.”

Her eyes widened. “Whoa, you killed your husband?”

I shook my head. “No. No, I contributed to his death, but I wasn’t responsible for it,” I told her hurriedly, repeating what my redia, my magical aider Conroy, had told me.

“For the record,” Conroy, the owl pendant hanging around my neck, said, “I don’t think you should go around telling people you contributed to anyone’s death.” 

I glanced down at where the necklace hung. Conroy had been silent for the entire ride today, probably because the fish had talked so much.

Karen, who can’t hear objects talk, must have thought I was hanging my head in shame. She patted my hand and soothed, “I’m sure he deserved whatever happened to him.”

I jerked my head up quickly to meet her gaze. “I—”

“You have amnesia?” she asked before I could disabuse her of the notion that I’m guilty of offing Orville. “That must be hard.”

“Confusing sometimes,” I admitted.

She gripped my hand. “Do you think he Overboarded you?”

“Huh?”

She nodded emphatically, warming to the conviction of her theory. “I bet he Overboarded you.”

I held my breath, hoping Conroy would explain what she was talking about, but he stayed silent.

Karen let out an exasperated sigh. “Overboard. The original. Not the remake. Remakes suck.”

I shook my head. “I’m not following you.”

She scowled. “It’s a classic movie.”

“I don’t…”

She slapped both her hands over her mouth. Her eyes bulged. She let out a scream, which was muffled by her hands but was still startling. Dropping her hands onto the table, she leaned closer. “I bet he prevented you from seeing it so that you couldn’t figure out what was going on. Goldie Hawn falls off a boat and gets amnesia and Kurt Russell convinces her that she’s his wife and so she has to cook and clean and take care of his kids. Classic.”

I nodded slowly, trying to follow her logic. “So you’re saying…”

“You weren’t really married to this Orville guy!” she crowed triumphantly as she jumped up to get the coffee. “He took advantage of your amnesia and tricked you.” 

Her words ignited a spark of hope in me. “Is that…? Could that be true?” I asked Conroy. It sounded crazy but considering how repulsive I’d found Mildred’s son to be, I wanted it to be true. It would mean that I hadn’t been a total idiot before my bout with amnesia.

“Of course it could be true,” Karen continued, not knowing that my question hadn’t been directed at her. “Did you cook for him? Clean for him? Raise his kids?”

I shook my head in response to each of her questions.

“Well, you must have had something he wanted.”

Suddenly, I felt cold, chilled to the bone. “Valentina,” I murmured.

Karen slid two mugs onto the table and sat back down. Her eyes glittered with excitement as she got into solving the mystery of my past. “Who’s Valentina?”

“My…” I hesitated, unsure of how to explain since I was still struggling to understand it myself.

“Tortoise,” Conroy helpfully supplied.

“Tortoise,” I repeated so that Karen could hear.

She shuddered and looked away. I couldn’t really blame her. First, she, Richie, and Marco had been sucked into my hod, Link, in his penny form. Then Valentina, in order to protect them from the threat of attack from the Wind and Fire Eternals who were after the kid, had swallowed the coin. It couldn’t be pleasant to know you’d been swallowed by a tortoise, even though Marco had assured me that he couldn’t remember any of it.

“Why would he want to steal a turtle?” Karen asked.

“Power,” I muttered, a shiver snaking down my spine. I didn’t need the owl’s coaching to tell me that Orville and his mother had been after my magic.

My friend across the table nodded. “Greed and love, those are the two things that make the world go ’round. That’s what my Jeval says.” She deflated at the mention of Richie’s missing father. “Said.”

Not knowing how to respond, I picked up a steaming mug, grateful for the warmth it provided.

“And he’s haunting you?” Karen asked suddenly. “Orville’s haunting you?”

I shook my head. “No. It’s his mother, Mildred. And if I don’t right her wrongs, I’ll be cursed with her company for eternity.”

“Whoa,” Karen gasped. “That sounds terrible.”

I nodded and sipped the coffee. It was bitter, but hot. “That’s why I’ve got the cat. It’s possessed by Mildred.”

“The cat’s haunted?”

I nodded. 

“Wow…you’ve been Overboarded, you’re being stalked by a demonic mother-in-law, and you’re dating a dragon?”

I choked on my coffee. “I don’t think she’s demonic,” I sputtered. “And I am not dating a dragon!”

She rolled her eyes as she handed me a napkin. “Well, what do you call what you’re doing with Sol?”

I dabbed at my chin, looking away. My relationship with Sol was complicated. I let out a heavy sigh. Everything about magic was always so damn complicated.

“Hey,” Karen assured me, a smile in her voice. “I’m not judging. I fell for Jeval and he broke all the rules to be with me. I mean, he wasn’t a scaly, fire-breathing mythical creature, but hey, if that’s what you’re into…”

“Oh, shut up.” I chuckled at her good-natured teasing.

She winked at me.

It really did sound ridiculous when she put it that way. What was I thinking getting involved with a guy who regularly turns into a rabbit and a dragon? I put my head in my hands. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“No one else does, either, sweetie. We’re all just winging it. It’s just that not everyone is dragon-winging it.” She burst into giggles.

I shook my head but found myself laughing, too. 

“Ladies?” a voice called from outside.

“None of those here,” Karen yelled as she got up, opened the door of the camper, and ushered Marco inside.

Marco stuck his head in and smiled at us both. “I am going to take a sojourn into town and was wondering if either of you would be interested in accompanying me.”

“Yes!” Karen and I replied simultaneously.

“Excellent. Whenever you’re ready.” He backed out.

“An adventure!” Karen said with an excited gleam in her eye.

Personally, I’ve had enough adventures. I hoped this trip into town would be uneventful.

As pink as my camper, Princess, was, the Gus Bus was green. Green tile, green counter, even a green mini-fridge. I’d become accustomed to the pinkness of my place, but the greenness of Karen’s caught me off-guard and I just stood there, blinking against the sight.

“What do you think of homeschooling?” Karen asked as she busied herself with making coffee.  

“Um…I guess a lot of people are doing it?” I winced, realizing I sounded like Becky. 

“Richie needs a more formal education.” She glanced over at me. “Sit. Sit.” Ever since her son had magically healed her from whatever had been killing her, she’d had more energy. Now, despite the long drive, she was practically bouncing.

I slid into a seat at the table. Like everything else, both were green.

“Did you have a normal education or just a magical one?” Karen asked.

I sat back in my seat, knocked off balance by the question. “I don’t know.”

She looked over at me.

I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t remember anything about most of my life. One day, I just woke up in the hospital and was married to Orville.”

While the coffee maker gurgled to life, she sat down opposite me. “Orville?”

“My husband.” I clenched my fists. Just saying the words made me want to retch. “He’s the reason I’m in this mess. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be haunted and driving around in Princess, trying to retrieve magical charms. I—”

“Hold up,” Karen interrupted, leaning closer. “You’re married?”

I shuddered at the thought. “No. He’s dead.”

She squinted at me. “Did you kill him?”

I winced. “It’s kind of complicated.”

Her eyes widened. “Whoa, you killed your husband?”

I shook my head. “No. No, I contributed to his death, but I wasn’t responsible for it,” I told her hurriedly, repeating what my redia, my magical aider Conroy, had told me.

“For the record,” Conroy, the owl pendant hanging around my neck, said, “I don’t think you should go around telling people you contributed to anyone’s death.” 

I glanced down at where the necklace hung. Conroy had been silent for the entire ride today, probably because the fish had talked so much.

Karen, who can’t hear objects talk, must have thought I was hanging my head in shame. She patted my hand and soothed, “I’m sure he deserved whatever happened to him.”

I jerked my head up quickly to meet her gaze. “I—”

“You have amnesia?” she asked before I could disabuse her of the notion that I’m guilty of offing Orville. “That must be hard.”

“Confusing sometimes,” I admitted.

She gripped my hand. “Do you think he Overboarded you?”

“Huh?”

She nodded emphatically, warming to the conviction of her theory. “I bet he Overboarded you.”

I held my breath, hoping Conroy would explain what she was talking about, but he stayed silent.

Karen let out an exasperated sigh. “Overboard. The original. Not the remake. Remakes suck.”

I shook my head. “I’m not following you.”

She scowled. “It’s a classic movie.”

“I don’t…”

She slapped both her hands over her mouth. Her eyes bulged. She let out a scream, which was muffled by her hands but was still startling. Dropping her hands onto the table, she leaned closer. “I bet he prevented you from seeing it so that you couldn’t figure out what was going on. Goldie Hawn falls off a boat and gets amnesia and Kurt Russell convinces her that she’s his wife and so she has to cook and clean and take care of his kids. Classic.”

I nodded slowly, trying to follow her logic. “So you’re saying…”

“You weren’t really married to this Orville guy!” she crowed triumphantly as she jumped up to get the coffee. “He took advantage of your amnesia and tricked you.” 

Her words ignited a spark of hope in me. “Is that…? Could that be true?” I asked Conroy. It sounded crazy but considering how repulsive I’d found Mildred’s son to be, I wanted it to be true. It would mean that I hadn’t been a total idiot before my bout with amnesia.

“Of course it could be true,” Karen continued, not knowing that my question hadn’t been directed at her. “Did you cook for him? Clean for him? Raise his kids?”

I shook my head in response to each of her questions.

“Well, you must have had something he wanted.”

Suddenly, I felt cold, chilled to the bone. “Valentina,” I murmured.

Karen slid two mugs onto the table and sat back down. Her eyes glittered with excitement as she got into solving the mystery of my past. “Who’s Valentina?”

“My…” I hesitated, unsure of how to explain since I was still struggling to understand it myself.

“Tortoise,” Conroy helpfully supplied.

“Tortoise,” I repeated so that Karen could hear.

She shuddered and looked away. I couldn’t really blame her. First, she, Richie, and Marco had been sucked into my hod, Link, in his penny form. Then Valentina, in order to protect them from the threat of attack from the Wind and Fire Eternals who were after the kid, had swallowed the coin. It couldn’t be pleasant to know you’d been swallowed by a tortoise, even though Marco had assured me that he couldn’t remember any of it.

“Why would he want to steal a turtle?” Karen asked.

“Power,” I muttered, a shiver snaking down my spine. I didn’t need the owl’s coaching to tell me that Orville and his mother had been after my magic.

My friend across the table nodded. “Greed and love, those are the two things that make the world go ’round. That’s what my Jeval says.” She deflated at the mention of Richie’s missing father. “Said.”

Not knowing how to respond, I picked up a steaming mug, grateful for the warmth it provided.

“And he’s haunting you?” Karen asked suddenly. “Orville’s haunting you?”

I shook my head. “No. It’s his mother, Mildred. And if I don’t right her wrongs, I’ll be cursed with her company for eternity.”

“Whoa,” Karen gasped. “That sounds terrible.”

I nodded and sipped the coffee. It was bitter, but hot. “That’s why I’ve got the cat. It’s possessed by Mildred.”

“The cat’s haunted?”

I nodded. 

“Wow…you’ve been Overboarded, you’re being stalked by a demonic mother-in-law, and you’re dating a dragon?”

I choked on my coffee. “I don’t think she’s demonic,” I sputtered. “And I am not dating a dragon!”

She rolled her eyes as she handed me a napkin. “Well, what do you call what you’re doing with Sol?”

I dabbed at my chin, looking away. My relationship with Sol was complicated. I let out a heavy sigh. Everything about magic was always so damn complicated.

“Hey,” Karen assured me, a smile in her voice. “I’m not judging. I fell for Jeval and he broke all the rules to be with me. I mean, he wasn’t a scaly, fire-breathing mythical creature, but hey, if that’s what you’re into…”

“Oh, shut up.” I chuckled at her good-natured teasing.

She winked at me.

It really did sound ridiculous when she put it that way. What was I thinking getting involved with a guy who regularly turns into a rabbit and a dragon? I put my head in my hands. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“No one else does, either, sweetie. We’re all just winging it. It’s just that not everyone is dragon-winging it.” She burst into giggles.

I shook my head but found myself laughing, too. 

“Ladies?” a voice called from outside.

“None of those here,” Karen yelled as she got up, opened the door of the camper, and ushered Marco inside.

Marco stuck his head in and smiled at us both. “I am going to take a sojourn into town and was wondering if either of you would be interested in accompanying me.”

“Yes!” Karen and I replied simultaneously.

“Excellent. Whenever you’re ready.” He backed out.

“An adventure!” Karen said with an excited gleam in her eye.

Personally, I’ve had enough adventures. I hoped this trip into town would be uneventful.